“Hi, my name is Pauli. I’m a fucking idiot, and this is my guide to losing weight.”
#4. The Inevitable Backlash
Here’s a concept that will ruin your day. Experts call it the “fat trap,” and pretty much everyone with a spare tire or 16 is subject to it. David Wong has already covered the issue at some length, so I won’t go to specifics, but, basically, your body loves all the pounds it has and will actively work to gain back every single one you manage to lose, because fuck you, you’re not the boss of it. I learned of the fat trap about halfway through my blog project, and I immediately wandered away to depression-eat the world until I had consumed the very concept of hunger.